Let Us Now Praise Carefree Black Girls

It’s the year of our Lord 2021 and people are still figuratively (and literally) trying to police Black girls and women’s bodies.

Why?

I know why, but I want and need Black folk to stop. When reading about the backlash that the talented, beautiful Chloe Bailey encountered while living her best life on the ‘Gram and internets the first thought I had was “Phew if that were me, I, too, would be out here.” After swatting away my negative body image thoughts, my next thought was how important it is for Black women, femmes, and non-conforming folk to live their lives as freely as they can. Knowing how difficult that can be and even how impossible it can feel. Nevertheless, I believe we have to try.

“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”

— Toni Morrison

Easier said than done, but it’s what we owe ourselves, our ancestors, and the future.

I grew up in a very religious (Christian) family and developed a lot of hangups about a lot of stuff. It wasn’t until I was in college, studied and lived in France, and got out and about in the world that I started to question what I believed, how I wanted to show up in the world, and what I wanted to do about it. These are questions I’m still trying to answer to this day and I feel like I’m constantly asking if aspects of my life resonate with me or if I need to let them go. So when a young lady like Chloe is engaging in her freedom and loving herself out loud in public I LOVE TO SEE IT. A small part of me wishes I had taken advantage of that freedom when I was younger and a larger part hopes that I can figure out how to tap into that freedom and self-love now, in this moment, and from now on.

All of this is why “The Secret Lives of Church Ladies” x Deesha Philyaw resonated with me so deeply. It’s a collection of stories of churched Black women trying to navigate their intimate lives within or related to the environment of the church. These characters, like all of us, contain multitudes and it was affirming to see their

“The Secret Lives of Church Ladies” is in conversation with two other books I read and appreciated “Wayward Lives, Beautiful Experiments: Intimate Histories of Social Upheaval” x Saidya Hartman and “Girl, Gurl, Grrrl: On Womanhood and Belonging in the Age of Black Girl Magic” x Kenya Hunt. Separately, these books provide an opportunity to reflect on how Black women, femmes, and nonconforming folk have snatched and amplified freedom when they could and reflections on contemporary life.

These books are all (apparently needed) reminders that Black women are not responsible for other’s expectations of them. Period.

I hope that Chloe and anyone else, but especially Black women, looking for freedom find themselves on both the pages of these books and out in these streets.