VONA, Verzuz, et Vous
What happens to a dream realized, then jeopardized, then deferred?
This is not rhetorical. I’d love to know.
I was deeply grateful and proud of myself when I was accepted into the 2021 VONA/Voices Summer workshop.
VONA
VONA is not an organization I was super familiar with before applying to the workshop, except for a fleeting knowledge that Junot Díaz co-founded it and had to sever ties because of multiple sexual misconduct allegations. Knowing that the organization made the right call in that instance AND seeing the quality of the teachers like Kiese the Great and Maurice Carlos Ruffin whose work and social media accounts I follow and learning about writers like Faith Adiele who I newly admire, I felt like acceptance into the program was a longshot.
Nevertheless, I shot my shot and couldn’t really believe that I was accepted. This doubt has a lot to do with me trying to claim my identity as a writer and knowing that I don’t take my practice as seriously as I should or could. Being accepted to participate in this community of writers of color felt like an affirmation from the universe that I was good enough, or at least worthy of the pursuit of good enough.
The dissolution of this summer’s program hurt me in a way I’m still processing and I feel selfish for feeling this way knowing that people more deeply involved and invested in VONA are hurting much more than I am.
“The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.”
In listening to people who are more familiar and knowledgeable about VONA, I heard hurt and disappointment in what had transpired and how. It was evident that what makes VONA special is its heart and centering of writers of color and community members took that expectation and high standard to heart. This investment and belief in what VONA could and should be has resulted in some of the faculty and board calling VONA in and asking for accountability and ultimately in my dream of participating in the workshop being deferred, at least for now.
Verzuz
This situation has overlapped with the latest Verzuz battle that pit Soulja Boy (Tell ‘Em) against Lil Bow Wow. I didn’t learn until recently that both of these artists (and I’m playing fast and loose using that term for one of these people) are facing multiple sexual assault and violence allegations. Davis Dennis Jr. wrote powerfully for The Undefeated about how a project meant to celebrate Black joy should hold itself to a higher standard and not needlessly provide abusers with platforms. So true. It inevitably hits different when organizations and institutions we believe care about us let us down.
Vous “[vu] pronom personnel (2e personne pluriel)” or Y’all in English.
What do institutions that claim to center people of color owe us?
What do we, as community members, owe those institutions?
I’m sure these are questions that I’ll keep revisiting for the rest of my life and I hope that I’ll continue to revise my answers so that I can be a better person and community member.
I trust that eventually I’ll be grateful for observing an organization I’d like to be in relationship with grapple with revising itself.
For now, though, it sucks.